This is all I want to post right now

There was a boy I used to be
I guess that he was cold
If she came to buy him now,
how cheaply he'd be sold
But the light is gone and it is dark
what used to be the sky
Is suddenly embarrassing
to the naked eye. . . .

Yes, I've resorted to posting song lyrics. Shoot me.

Not quite missed connections

At this blogging.la post, Sean Bonner wrote about some amusing self made Missed Connection postings ala craigslist that The Sneeze created. There are only a handful so I'm not going to quote them, so take a look here.


Images of Transportation Voronoi Diagrams

I love missed connections on craigslist and yes, I even posted one myself a long time ago and got a reply too.

The biggest shock for me was seeing that email from her in my inbox. I remember staring at the words and blanking out on a response for at least an hour. What the heck was I going to say?

I think she was a little perturbed by the whole idea, admitting that she wasn't familiar with whole missed connections thing and wouldn't have known if her friend had not sent the post to her. I could imagine her friend describing MC as the site of choice for freaks and stalkers to post random sightings of strangers they were interested in.

Um, I guess that's partly true.

She was curious to know who I was, what I was wearing and even noted that I didn't have to write back. I sent this long convoluted response, not helping in bringing down the weirdness factor in retrospect, but I was still shocked by how this was turning out.

I never received an additional reply, and missed a chance to talk to her when she left by the time I talked myself into approaching her. She still remains a missed connection.

Posting on MC is seriously the lamest thing ever second only to me.

tags: missed connections

Drive + Sleep + Drive

I had the most wonderful and boring weekend where all I did was sleep and had all my meals made for me. Thanks Mom! Missed the dragon boat races when I woke up around noon and the last thing I wanted to deal with was the toll plaza and parking. Oh well.

I'm going back up next weekend, so I'm going to try to squeeze some activities like eating at the Cheesesteak Shop and Blondie’s, and maybe a trip into the City.

My highlights:

A. Target for a prescription. Out of boredom, took my blood pressure (135 over 83 btw).

B. Toys-R-Us -- Just an evil place of depressed employees.

C. Safeway -- Just like Vons!
The Columbo bread wasn't fresh so I passed and they didn't have It-Its. Lame.

E. Park. -- Walked around my childhood stomping grounds with its now disintegrating trails and dried out fields. Depressing to see how reality hasn't kept up with your memories.

At the playground I saw this older, fat kid sitting on top of the slide, just hanging out with his younger (and thinner) siblings. Maybe he had a pre-existing health problem, maybe he was recovering from surgery with scars and tubes exiting into pouches just hidden underneath his shirt, or maybe if he moved some of his lazy, GTA master player ass up the steps and down the damn slide over and over again he wouldn't be so fat.

Just saying.

On my drive home Monday I pulled off in Atwater to visit me friend who wanted to cash in her gift certificate at the Fatburger in Burbank. After a walk around on each side of the street we realized that it wasn't there anymore. Uber lame. How can a Fatburger go out of business?

Now I need Fatburger. Look at the the picture. You now need Fat Burger too.

Dragon Boat Festival - SF

Was planning on posting about this after I got back, but noticed an article went up on sfgate.com today about the San Francisco Dragon Boat Festival this weekend.

These hard core boat races are moving from Lake Merced to Clipper Cove on Treasure Island due to growth of this event.

Read the article.

Treasure Island, if you don't already know is a man made island, which has been used for the 1939–40 World’s Fair and as a military base which closed in the 80s and is now a public part of the City of San Francisco.

Clipper Cove is named after the landing spot/base for Pan Am's "China Clipper" route and a couple hangers still exist in this area. You can see them next to the marina area in this amazing 360 degree QTR from the entrance of Treasure Island here.

Quick little history of Treasure Island, Yerba Buena Island and The Bay Bridge that tunnels through it, can be found here.

More pics:


Long Beach Dragon Boat Festival @ July

what I see

Looking out the bar window I watch the homeless man on the sidewalk talking up the doorman. Trying to make out the toothless, gummy words mouthed from the other side of the glass, I give up realizing it was no longer a simple conversation I could follow.

My friends were off doing their own thing at the moment, so I turn around and watch the birthday girl dance with her father to the mariachi band. Visible from the open back dress is a round tattoo about the size of a serving plate. You really can't go up to a girl and closely inspect the elaborate design without them noticing of course, and my wanting to trace the lines with my fingertips was out of the question.

This strange, drunk impulse amuses me.

This night could happen on any downtown night in some other city, but after eight years living in Southern California it finally feels like home to me.

This weekend I'll be at my first home sleeping in my first room and I will miss Los Angeles.

This is at once weird and perfectly okay.

Okay

First let me direct you to DJ Cheese Zombie's blog Are you going to finish that?. A far better writer with a more f'd up view of reality than I could ever muster to blog about.

Many a meal with DJ CZ ends with that Starving Kids in China rationale behind that question, so the title is quite fitting.

I'll say this again and again

Begin.

I lie sometimes, but if you know me and ask me point blank questions about what I wrote, I will answer honestly.

Either I don't care enough about you or what you think, so I'm not going to lie or I do care about you and I'm not going to lie because I generally believe it is better to be honest and open in a relationship/friendship.

Waiting to tell is not the same as lying.

End.

Starving Kids in China would make a great band name don't you think?

Odd

Posted a while ago on my other blog

I thought her odd and she told me I was strange and this might be the only thing we have in common.

After the movie, we went to have dinner at Truly on Hollywood Blvd. I watched her talk about all sorts of dishes with another lover of vegan fare.

I, the outcasted meat eater, lover of dead, cooked animals for consumption looked on as they traded recommendations. She felt at ease talking about this, but not so much talking to me at first.

She looked me in the eyes and I stared backed twice as much. I wasn't giving her any mixed signals, but I was polite and didn't start anything at first.

Lying on the couch half awake (fully clothed) watching Daria, our legs tangled, her head resting on my chest. With her smaller than I, she fit nicely against my body.

It didn't feel weird at all.

Bar 107

I had every intention to drive home and not go out this week after seeing how tight screwed I was budget wise. Feeling strangled by this ropes I’ve placed around me, fully aware that I’m the only one who can untie them to move forward. This entanglement on top of a funk about my "not getting a raise in three years" thoughts and frustration with "I kind of think I want to spend time with someone*, yet realizing I'm not capable of committing myself financially or emotionally" blues.

It’s been worse and can say I haven’t been happier in years as a strange as it sounds.

When I’m like this I'm susceptible to the lets hang out, eat cheap, do some errands and hit the penny bar you keep blabbering about idea that my good friend suggested. Run off with the fishes is what I say [I so made that up] and off we did errands and with perfect timing our friend called willing to join us for food and drinks.

On the way there she said there was no way in hell she was walking out of that bar if drinks really were a penny, if this place actually existed, with a just as imaginary drink special. Always a doubter I thought then she followed up with a no matter what don't let her drunk dial request.

I cut over the three lanes where the 101 connected to the 110 and they all thought we were going to die trying to reach the 4th street exit, but we never did. Found the bar and instantly loved the room, long bar and mounted jackalope. Heavy Metal played on the TV screens while TV Tunes rocked the stereo. They placed straw hats on our heads and told us the mariachi band was playing in twenty minutes. They were there for a birthday party so one friend snuck some food while the other got drunk off those one centers even though she thought they tasted "like ass".

Shared two five dollar pitchers of Miller High Life and had this tasty black cherry-something-something mixed drink which was great and strong while I tired taking pictures with our stupid hats on. When my friend comes back inside from drunk-dialing I fess up abut a date I forgot to mention anything about. What I didn't tell you, my only real close friends in LA? You didn't see the post, oh yeah, that's my other blog I posted in. Yeah the one where he talks shit about us, she says. A shrug is given in reply and laughter as a side dish. Up next were the Did I do this, Did you do that questions. I shared enough to satisfy their curiosity; a movie, a dinner and I kept the rest to myself**.

Dropped our friend at her place and drove over to the Echo to waste time to sober up more. Pu$$y Cow was great for the last half of the set I saw. Found out from Matt Southwell during the Letter Openers that he's producing the Pu$$y Cow album old school, black flag, in three takes to nail it or it's not on the record way. Those were his words exactly.

Walked around say hi to my former movie date and a few others. Before leaving I told Laura Randie that she smelled nice while giving my hello/goodbye hug to her.

She always smells nice.



*hypothetical, not anyone in particular
**I answered all questions honestly and completely
tags: Bar 107

If you care to go

Bar 107 in downtown LA is having one cent well drinks for ladies until the end of August. Special runs M-F 8-2 am. More info here

Jessica Dobson is back from NYC, where she recorded her debut album on Atlantic and is playing a free show at the Detroit Bar next Monday (8.29).

I posted little things before here, here, and here. I like her music a lot.

Gemma Hayes is playing at Tangier (8.30) with the Cold Water Kids, before heading back to Europe. 7-8 dollars ?. She is on first @ 7.30.

I told you how cool she is in this post.

Tonight 8.23: The Randies @ Zen or Kiss or Kill has The Rainman Suite 12:10, The Letter Openers 11:30, Pu$$y Cow 10:50, Deadbeat Sinatra 10:10 and Front Row For The Meltdown 9:30 @ the Echo

Sat/Sun 8.27-8.28
I'm out of town for Sunset Junction, so please stop by El Cid for this:

RUMBLE IN THE JUNCTION ~ KISS OR KILL AT THE SUNSET JUNCTION
2 Days ~~ 24 Bands ~~ $1/day
The stage will be inside the cool oasis of El Cid.
4212 Sunset Blvd. Silverlake, CA 90029

ROCKZILLA DAY SATURDAY AUGUST 27	SMOG MONSTER DAY SUNDAY AUGUST 28
Porterville 12:30am The Randies 11:45 pm BANG sugar BANG 11:00 pm Silver Needle 10:15 pm Nu-tra 9:30 pm Flamenco Show Helicopter Helicopter 5:00 pm Midway 4:15 pm The Letter Openers 3:30 pm The Ebbs 2:45pm The Waking Hours 2:00 pm The New Fidelity 1:15 pm The Press Fire 12:30 pm	The Atomic Missiles 12:30 am Kill Radio 11:45pm Pu$$y Cow 11:00 pm The O.A.O.T's 10:15 pm Sasquatch 9:30 pm Flamenco Show So Unloved 5:00 pm The King Cheetah 4:15 pm Star No Star 3:30 pm The Underwater City People 2:45 pm The Rainman Suite 2:00 pm Deadbeat Sinatra 1:15 pm Blockage 12:30 pm

boring thoughts, recap

I think DJ Cheese Zombie was right about my posts. This one is boring.

Friday I hung out with my friend Cortney and watched television at my house instead of catching Silver Needle, the Letter Openers and the Ben Vaughn Desert Classic play. I've managed to take a couple weeks from shows like I kept promising to do and with this cold, I really had no choice but to slow down.

I just read Ben Vaughn's bio for this post and I already knew that he wrote the theme to That 70s Show, but he has also done a million much cooler things too, so I feel lame for missing him. He plays a lot of free shows at Mr T's Bowl, so next time.

Saturday I was to attend a birthday party in Hollywood, but I was still feeling sickly, so I passed. Part of it was that I think she's cute and I looked like shit. So pointless.

Also scheduled that night was an art/music show at Hangar 1018 featuring Gram Rabbit and 8 Bit. I've only seen GR once a couple years ago at the Scene and since then they have landed a record deal, played Morning Becomes Electric on KCRW [stream video], oh and played at Coachella this year. DJ Cheese Zombie went to this and agreed the singer is very hot, but possibly drugged out her mind too. Regardless I'm happy when cool bands can become successful doing their own weird thing. He also mentioned how the local hookers thought he was looking for date each time he drove past when he just trying to find parking.

Finally left my house on Sunday for the Punk Rock Social BBQ at the Anarchy Library. 8 bucks for free food and free beer until the keg ran out, which means it was breakfast, lunch and dinner for me. I still looked like shit.

I love their flyers.

DJ Cheese Zombie, I'm calling you out

My longtime friend DJ Cheese Zombie complains that my posts have been boring lately, so I've asked him to step up and guest post in the near future.

He's one of those people always with something to say. Should be interesting.



If you don't know what a cheese zombie is, Jennifer Accettola describes them like this in virtualitalia.com:

This surreal concoction of California public school cafeterias looks like an unsliced hotdog bun with a chunk of mozzarella inside that was melted when the lunches are warmed.

They were yummy.

tags: cheese zombie

This is why I miss the Bay Area

"What residents know for sure is that the San Francisco Bay Area has three seasons: winter, summer and fog."

from sfgate.com

I'm going up to the Bay the next two weekends!

hella sweet.

Just in case

Why is it that I write a lot on Fridays?

Today is another Payday Friday, which might have something to do with it.

Tonight is a sketch comedy show that a friend wrote and performs a few scenes in. I have no idea if it’s any good, but I might risk it and the trawling tow trucks of Hollywood who I fear will gobble up my car, and hold it hostage in the belly of a storage yard.

I got towed once back when T. worked at Sybase. God I use to love hanging out at that company when she worked into the night alone on her floor. This was 1993 or 94 and our POS Performa with the “new“ power pc chip had only a 26.8 k modem and 56K was becoming mainstream, but Sybase had a T1 if not T2 line. Sweet Kelly Clarkson, it was fast and free as I imagine she would be, but the web was much smaller then so you can only look at so much after a few days.

This one day I decided to go see a movie down the street, bored of random word searches in yahoo. Drove around until I found the prefect spot and parked up against the curb of this small neighboring complex and walked in. Now the curbs in this part of Emeryville are not your normal right angle kind. Oh no, no. The edge was smooth and rounded off like a driveway the whole way down the block, high enough for water to reach the drain, but also very deceiving. I got out, looked around and I swear it looked like a perfectly legal spot at the time.

Um no, it wasn’t.

The one open spot I had pulled into was a driveway as I was to find out a couple hours later.

300 bucks borrowed and a pissed off girlfriend are not fun things to deal with on a Friday afternoon let me tell you. So I’m extra careful now without an extra whatever it costs to get a car out of storage in cash on me, nor a girlfriend to borrow it from.

Obviously, my goal this weekend is to get a rich girlfriend.

Just in case.

I'm tired of hitting reload.

All day I hoped for an email to brighten my mood, take my mind of my sore throat.

It still hurts.

Two days without my afternoon soda will do this to me.

Tonight I will crawl into bed and cuddle with a can of pepsi.

goodnight.

March of the Penguins

Talk about truth in advertising.

They walk in a line, they fall down sometimes. Throw my ass on a 70 mile walk across Antarctica and I'd be falling down too. Include 30 minutes of me bitching about my hair getting messed up by the wind and the penguins would be pushing my face into the ice and tossing me to the seals.

It could've been better

What disappointed me is that I've seen it all before on PBS for free. I knew they huddled in a circle for warmth, and the father held the eggs and babies in their belly flap while the females feed in the ocean. "Ah, how cute," go the women in the theatre seats around me.

Oh how cute when shit happens and then who's fault is it when the eggs drop?

The males of course.

Pile enough men together and you will quickly see a whole bunch fathers dropping their kids on the floor too. Once I was throwing Kaitlyn into the air at the grandparent's house. I was sitting on the floor in the beginning so the first few times it was only a couple feet off the ground. Then I stood and threw her up and barely missed the rotating ceiling fan by inches. Nothing worse than the in-law death stare when I state, "Let's see if we can hit it this time."

I'm sure the penguins will be more careful the next mating season as my ex-wife will be on her next marriage.

Maybe James Earl Jones is a penguin hater.

The great actor Morgan Freeman, I'm sure taking a break from the next Ashley Judd movie, does a decent voice over with his smooth, reassuring glass of red wine at 11pm tone. Unfortunately, my first thought when he started was of the speech he gave as the President in the end of the movie Deep Impact . We survived, we will rebuild, we will continue or something like that. Maybe that's why he got the part. That and Verizon pays James Earl Jones too much to do lame ass penguin movies and JEJ already has Africa tied up.

Don't get me wrong, I liked the movie, but found this more entertaining.

tags: march of the penguins

Friday

This gas thing is killing me. Over $3 a gallon for premium last Wednesday driving down Santa Monica Blvd. Ended up paying $ 2.78 for cheap gas, but I had no choice. $3 by next month? Ughy Ugh.

Drove 30 miles to Mr. T's Bowl in Highland Park (1 gallon) to see my favorite band Midway with 8 Bit, The Mormons, The Powercords, and some touring band called Bacon and Eggs. I guess Sean from Midway knew them from his days in Arlo.

The Powercords are a young band ala Weezer, or Ozma with a great poppy sound. They can only get better as they mature as performers and their sound evolves a bit more. I phrase it that way only because I didn't realize how much better the rest of the bands have gotten over the last two years.

Skipped out on Bacon and Eggs to get a soda and straw from Taco Bell down the street.

Menu: Welcome to Taco Bell, what can I get for you tonight?
Me: Could I get a large Pepsi and a soft taco?
Menu: Is that all?
Me: Yup.
Menu: You would like steak, chicken, or beef for your taco?
obvious upselling)
Me: Um, beef is fine.
Menu: I'm sorry, we won't have any beef for another ten minutes
Me: You don't have any beef?
I look at my friends, “Taco Bell ran out of beef! Someone forgot to boil the meat pouch."
Menu: You can get chicken or steak instead.
Me: Well I guess I'm going to order the chicken soft taco then.

I drive up laughing at the situation. No beef, and I’m getting the non chiper chicken.

Menu Guy: Hey, I gave you the soda for free. (1/2 gallon)
Me: That’s so cool. Thanks!
Menu Guy:What kind of sauce you like? Hot or mild?
Me: Hot
Menu Guy: We ran out of hot sauce
Me: Well I guess the mild sauce will have to do then huh?

I half expected to hear: Here's your soda, but we ran out of cups, but you can use your hands to form a one...would you like a straw with that? I'm sorry we ran out of straws too.

Went back and saw someone I needed to talk to but I decided to catch them inside instead of following behind her. I wanted to relax a bit so I got a beer from the wrong bartender who overcharged me a lot (@ 1/2 gallon) for a stupid miller highlife. Trying to ease the shyness out if I was going to make an introduction, but I couldn’t locate her. Spotted her out of the corner of my eye up by the bar when I was making my way to the front for 8 bit, but when the set was over she had bailed.

Guess there's always Craigslist again. Um no.


Checked out the new Midway merch and like all good bands they are selling underwear silkscreened with their logo. These two guys came up to Emily the bass player and said, “Wow you have underwear? She offered to sell some to them (@ 3 gallons) . “Well we were hoping we can have you try them on for us.”

I looked over thinking are you fucking serious?? Don’t they see that slightly annoyed guy watching less then two feet from you? Yup that’s her boyfriend. Emily easily deflected them and her boyfriend just took in stride. I can’t believe how clueless these guys were. Really, like some girl is going to think "oh okay this means people like me?? okay I'll do it!" Guys are so stupid. You have to get the girl drunk first before suggestive thoughts can be implanted into her subconscious.

Friggin'Amateurs.

tags: midway, 8 Bit, the powercords,taco bell

I'm a little sick

Lagging in the posts. Have one fat one and a little one coming.

Um, that sounded weird didn't it?

Normality will be attempted

These things will now be verboten after this post:

1) DG
2) One way crushes



This is the reality of the situation:

Impossible – no
Improbable – yes

I've been pretty obvious when I come out bouncing through the doorway, with eye contact generating smiles to her. I can’t hide it and she responds in a naturally friendly manner. I never did expected additional interest coming my way and that's just how it will remain telling her or not.

It’s all fine and dandy to write and feel and want and lust, but when it gets the best of me, overwhelms me, then I can't handle it. Back off, retreat, overload, circuits blown and I walk away from our conversation. Part shyness, part frustration of not acting like myself and speaking my thoughts.

Can I tell you something? Please don't take this the wrong way.
(Like this somehow excuses the uncomfortable moment I’m going to drop on you.)

Maybe you know this already, I think you might. I think you’re cool and neat and beautiful and I have this big ole crush on you and
…maybe you'll like to get coffee sometime
…maybe awkward silence
…maybe you can stop laughing at me
…maybe I’m going to walk away now

She doesn’t need to know any of this.

All I want is to be normal around her.

tags: crushes

Too much free time

[update: site taken down]
[update 9.26.06 Site back up!]

Dr. Walker has the time to make up these strange pictorials with dolls.



From the site:

Twinns are very adventurous, and the Tumbling Twinns have been having quite a few adventures to boast about. They have also been inundated by other Twinns coming forward with their adventures. This is where we you can read more about them.

"The New Cookie" story is a bit creepy or how about "Pizza Day"?


Click here for the full index of adventures. [update: see above link]

tags: dolls

The Randies, Vagenius - Key Club 8.10.05

I couldn't decide which picture I liked better

Went out to the Key Club to see The Randies and Vagenius for this girls rock/Avon/mark cosmetic production thingy. Offering half price martinis (7 bucks) , free manicures, and allegedly half off admission with password, but the club ripped me off and I didn't feel like arguing over a dollar fifty. Gave the ticket guy my whatever look and went in.

Now the Randies are one of my favorite bands so seeing them at the Key Club is nice for the sound system alone and usually a decent crowd for these events. Walked inside and saw it was pretty empty on the floor, though they were probably more people boozing upstairs. It was five minutes past their 9 sharp set time and according to Jason (pancake) they had moved all the bands up by a half hour. How annoying for a promoter to do that considering the hassle people put up with parking and all the shit that happens on the Strip.

Vagenius pulled a ton of people in for their set, but since they were also early some of their fans got shafted too. Anyhow who starts a show at 7.30 in the first place and has the final band finish by 10.20? I wonder if these slap yourself on the back events actually do any good sometimes.

Vagenius

Stood in the back for Vagenius and I swear it was like a flashback to bad 80s movie nightclub scenes where they have a couple minutes of some upcoming band playing. I think it's the keyboard-guitar thing that carries that stigma of cheesiness, but I can see how helpful if used fully like Vagenius did. They grew on me once I got over seeing kids who somehow raided my high school closet of clothes. Weird.

tags: the randies, vagenius

Hey Monica, Juliagulia and others

I think you might agree that is post from the awesome Jessica Stover is amusing.

Well if you liked ST TNG, you might.

Make sure to check out the "related gallery" on the bottom.

not even an inch

Stopped to stand against the wall, looked over and here I was right next to her.

We talk for a minute or two and I was so selfishly focused on her I had forgotten my friend standing only inches away. I sensed what I was doing and mentally looked for the braided string to turn off the Dodgervision sign over my head scrolling the messages I have a crush on you...I think you're beautiful... This is driving me crazy standing here.

Does everyone see it too? Does she?

So I'm getting nervous and people are coming up and saying hi, blah, blah, blahing. All nice stuff really but I had just felt our arms slightly touch against each other for few seconds. 10 seconds maybe. More as I replayed the sensation from my memory, feeling the tips of hair standing up, brushing with the smoothness of cool-whip.

How much of this did I just imagined up?

Our little group of friends were crowded up together yap, yap, yapping so I don't know if either of us could have shifted away immediately.

As far as I was concerned, I wasn't going to move.

Not even an inch.


tags: crushes

campy tuesday kiss or kill recap

I'm sure this happens all the time.

A young lady noticably cracked out her mind, Mick Jagger style strutting through the middle of the Los Feliz and San Fernando Blvd intersection about 7 pm last night.

She was staioned slightly north when I came back ten minutes later just before the police copter signaled the arrival of ground units. I hope she's okay.


Sounds of Asteroth

I figured it couldn’t get anymore exciting staying out in Glendale so I drove home, napped for a couple hours, showered and drove back to Kiss or Kill, walking in on the last three songs by Sounds of Asteroth. I was a little confused to the ultra neon wigs, drag queen backup singers, and a glittered up body of the lead singer at first, but a little camp didn’t take away from the poppy rock of this group.

Matt Southwell explained how this band was recommended to them, and he felt they were future residency material for sure. Not only were they a lot of fun, but they had a good draw which always help. I should know better than to come late (or leave early) for new KorK bands, and Sounds of Asteroth was a fun surprise.

Pu$$y Cow put on a tighter set with a nice little moshpit for the younger kids to trample in. The band So Unloved and P-Cow with their Dead Mikman-ish sound should do an all ages shows I think, while crotchity old me will watch from the sides.

Best part of was the cover of the Spercial's Night Klub with Emily and Kevin from Midway playing their horns (the saxabone section). I felt like the Psychic Cat of the Third Street Promenade for pulling this cd out just a couple days ago randomly.

This show even got a minor mention in defamer too.


Finally saw Helicopter Helicopter, having managed to miss their shows for the last couple months. Took a few songs for the crowd to segue from P-Cow to the more refined sound of H2, but I noticed lots of fascination about what pedals and effect they were using, but all that is just gibberish to me. They were great, did I forget tosay that?




Ze Auto Parts

I totally was yapping in the back and made it in in time for them to finish the last song. Always a good show, so a bit bummed that I missed it.

Oh well.

tags: kiss or kill, ze auto parts, pu$$y cow, helicopter helicopter, Sounds of Asteroth

A Saturday BBQ

I was going to tell some girl Saturday my fascination with the sparkly green eye shadow she was wearing, which would've sound like a cheesy pick up line, but I just thought it looked really cool. On most people it would've been way too much, but I was impressed that it looked good on her.

Spent a few minutes trying to figure out a way to approach Miss Tambourine Girl with Green Eye Shadow, but decided best not to say anything.

As it was I was already having trouble speaking to people that day.

First, there was a little public bickering with OGirl, which I didn't realize was that noticeable until someone was "oh fight, fight" jokingly. One of those we didn't like each other's attitude misunderstandings, but we got that all worked out by the end of the day.

Then there's my problem with acting aloof/air-headish around certain people. Now I'm the first to admit I'm not the smartest person in the world, but I've been finding myself going "Huh? What?" when people are talking to me. The start of this particular situation threw me, and instead of taking advantage of the moment where I could've said something witty and flirty, all I could manage was "duh...duh,duh...duh."

This whole nervous, shy thing is even getting old to me and easily not a great way to impress people you're interested in.


tags: kiss or kill, tags: playas picnic

Friday, F***k Yeah!

This whole company gets so lazy here on Fridays and I'm not immune to it. Spent the whole day creating playlists in iTunes, scouring the mp3 blogs, doing nothing. One Friday we did shots of vodka which took a little more effort than just laziness.

Paydays are the worst of the worst work ways (said Elmer) since my company doesn't offer direct deposit. After coming down from wired from coffee morning productive, I'll go to lunch, come back for a couple hours, and when the paycheck is hand delivered to me, off to the bank on the company's dime.

I think why my company isn't able to offer direct deposit has something to do with the owner being an idiot and laundering money for the Los Angeles arm of the Irish mob in-between the sister companies and partnerships, but don't quote me on that.

Until a couple weeks ago I actually stood in line OG style with heavy sighs, crossed arms, doing a crippled co-worker a favor. This one teller, a tad young for my taste, flirts with me which I find flattering (because people don't flirt with me)and slight amusing. When I'm drunk I've jokingly said that I'd do a 19 yr old, but I wouldn't dare date one (I was drunk, not serious), but this teller is a guy which is a far bigger issue keeping us apart than his age.

Since I grew up insulated in the liberal Bay Area, surrounded by many openly gay kids in a high school where the ridicule and insults were hurled at our horrible football team [if you're a HS football nut, we were 5 miles from the uber great De La Salle], people assumed their gaydar was functioning properly when it came to me. Didn't help back then that my best friend since 7th grade had to be the most openly gay, flaming (if you like un-PC stereotypes) kid you could've met. Throw in a long time girlfriend that went to a different school and you could imagine the confusion when anyone cared enough to ask. I'm thankful for growing up the way I did.

Once I was getting to know this girl Gaby at the local coffee shop where us "mods" hung out at all the time, you know, when we weren't smoking out to Bauhaus or something. She was asking around, I later learned, and received unsure, conflicting backgrounds on me. She wanted to know, so she asked me straight up.

Her: Can I ask you something personal?
Me: Sure
Her: Are you gay?
Me: Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not.
Her: Oh I'm not disappointed.

Then we made out.

Strange thing is having nearly the exact same conversation a couple times later with different girls, that a girl let me touch her, and this post was originally going to finish with a sarcastic remark about using Ebay for shoe shopping.

Tomorrow is BYOM (mayo)

Kiss or Kill's Playa's Picnic
At The Old Towne Pub

66 N. Fair Oaks Ave, Pasadena, CA 91103
12noon-5pm | 21+
$5.00 gets you in the door for bands and bbq. Dogs and burgers. You can also bring your own stuff to grill up if y'all want!

BANG sugar BANG 5:00
Porterville 4:15
Midway 3:30
Blockage 2:45
Bobot Adrenaline 2:00

So I broke it off.

That dirty whore called myspace.

Some of you managed to make your way to my not so secret blog here and will have already seen this. Deal.

Yup, this is all about me 8.4.05

All gone folks.

This myspace blog has always been a back-up to my real one (I have two actually) and usually pulled in more views too, but I had to take it down because some of this is taken way out of context (my fault) and it was affecting people I care about.

This blog is not a diary. I know people see this.

I'm keeping the real one up, so for those who say they hate blogs yet read mine, please stop and admit that you actually like blogs. I understand the internet is public, but like television, if you have a problem with the content, then maybe you should change the channel.

I love having readers, and don't plan on changing what I write about too much; yet keeping it off myspace will be helpful I think.

42.

I have a love/hate thing with blogging.

On one hand I like the attention of seeing how many views a post can generate. I think I occasionally have something interesting to say, but maybe you read this to see how I can possibly top my last self indulgent post. I don't know.

On the other hand I'm a very private person and it makes me nervous when someone mentions that they read this. A bit ironic.

I hella can't write worth shit, I know

Never claimed I could. If I cared enough I would write a book, hire an editor, a proof-reader, and a small monkey to bring me drinks while I wrote. The back cover would have a picture of me sitting in a smoking jacket, with said monkey. We both would be sporting monocles.

Yes it is my blog and it is mostly about me. I'm fully secure in my insecurities, so let me say I'm sincere in my love of these bands (even if some of the members suck as people), and if I say something to you on a personal level (on or offline), I mean it. If you think of me as a kiss ass, an asshole, a snob, fine, I'm all that and more. I don't judge you because of your faults. Probably like you better because of them.

Just so you know

I'm prepared to explain when I'm called out on a post. I try to use my best judgment when posting about my interaction with people, but I'm also a clueless idiot, so feel free to let me know if something bothers you. I might delete it, modify it, or not give a shit and leave it up.

I make shit up sometimes too, little stuff mostly if it helps the story. I once mention how I thought broccoli was gross in reference to a broccoli pie recipe. I like broccoli a lot actually, but the concept of a pie with broccoli as a primary ingredient still sounds gross. My friend and owner of said recipe gave me shit for this later when I wanted the beef and broccoli at dinner the other day.

Some stuff happened days, weeks, months, even years before I posted about it.

Sticks and stones will always hurt more than words. It's true.

I leave BIG chunks out, and might post something that took up a whole ten minutes of a much larger situation.

I'm still blogging, just not here.

and yes I'm talking about you.



I thank you for reading.

~robert dean


btw, I love tony pierce busblog

[I was all over the place mentally (ie distracted) when I wrote this, so it's more random than usual]

I'll leave it at the first part

Short drive and a long search for elusive Silverlake parking, her fingers rubbed the top of the hand she was holding onto. Sometimes our bundled digits rested on her lap as she used her other hand to talk. Sometimes I was too distracted by her touch on my arm to listen as she guided me down the surrounding streets.

I remember at one point holding the top of her leg and then running my finger down the edge of her ear softly, only after her fingertips moved up my neck, into my hair; my path of least resistance.

My sighs for misjudging her car length for every potential spot hid also my urge to double park and kiss her. God she was torturing me in a good way, but still too drunk to realize how much so. I was too sober for the thoughts in my head and continued driving.

A perfect spot magically opened, we parked, and I was about to walk her up when her cell rang....

I'll forget

unless I write it down, otherwise every night becomes a blur in my memory.

Started early with the beer during Underwater City People's set. They sounded great (as always) and the timed synchronized kicks were amusing. Noticed new people enjoying them so hopefully word spreads on how amazing this band is.

Hung out at the bar and was going to say something to someone but still a little shy and only half way through my first beer. Looked up at the ceiling blankly, thinking of ways to not come off too awkwardly. Frustrated that I couldn't think of one, went outside and chatted with Laura red and Rain instead. In the end everything worked out as well as it could have realistically.

Walked to the car twice and show C. my new Converse high-tops, only because I haven't owned a pair since high school and felt unusually impulsive for buying them. I was a Doc Martin person for 10+ years straight back then, mostly because they held up to the beating I put them through. I'm a shoe killer.

Did a lot of bouncing around mumbling lyrics and drinking to the Randies, then stood back and watched Pu$$y Cow rock a very good sized, pre-Muffs crowd. Amazing that this is their 7th show and they're opening for the Muffs. They are living my rock star dreams.

I was never into the Muffs much over the years, so I really enjoyed my first time seeing them. Even vaguely recognized some songs which surprised me.

Went to a little get together afterwards, which was, um, interesting. Meet some very nice people so that's always cool.

I had planned on being at work at 6 this morning and knew that I was going to stay up all night to make it, but by the time I made it home at 4.30 I realized that in the last 48 hours I had slept for only 4.5 hours and already had been awake for 24 hours. No way was I going to survive without a little sleep.

Set the alarm for 5.30 and miraculously opened my eyes a little after 7. Oops.

Did you notice how people seemed a little more dressed up than usual? Didn't even recognize Cooper in her suit and hat when she said hi.


tags: kiss+or+kill, the muffs, underwater city people, pu$$y cow

j-do

I love this song Most Sundays by Jessica Dobson.

I have for a long time, but I thought I would mention it again. One of these days her album will be finished and playing in my car over and over again.

More songs/demos can be streamed at her old "margo lee" site here
*site is dead* - use her new band Deep Sea Diver)

solid

I woke up feeling the most solid I've been in weeks.

My fault for pushing myself with shows every other night, only getting four hours of sleep on average. But I did win a duck at Punk Rock Social- Live ", so going out has it perks at times.

New week, new month.

I'm excited about tomorrow at Kiss or Kill

Underwater City People 9:30pm

The Randies 10:10pm

Pu$$y Cow 10:50 (Aug resident band)

The Muffs 11:30

This show is $5 bucks instead of the normal $3