Kiss or Kill - Words are not easy to come by these days

I've been holding back completely or at best the first few lines make it into words but are forgotten by the time I sit in front of my laptop. This has been going on for weeks now.

Words were spoken to me the other night.

These are words that have a strong meaning to me - these words won't matter to most of you non-kiss or kill folks and I wouldn't normally mention anything before it's all announced if I wasn't given permission to that night.

So I was told that Kiss or Kill, the weekly music night I've been attending since late 2003 is coming to an end in Late December.

After the big Halloween Bash (more details to follow) the last two months will be dedicated to the bands and fans that made up the core group over the last few years. Expect to see old faces, past and current favorites, and I hear maybe some surprises. It will be a celebration of the last five years if you will.

It's hard to explain what I and others found at these shows and how so much has changed within this gathering and individually (and it would take too long). All the great bands, the crazy drunken nights, the music, the gossip and social drama, the crushes I'd developed, summer picnics, group bus trips to Vegas, the hook ups, the breakdowns, and the break ups.

There are many stories in this town.
Kiss or Kill was just one of them.


This old LA Weekly article explains it all
.

my mind is clouded...with rainbows

Monday my cell sat on the coffee table wanting to be used. Not even a day has passed and I wanted to spend it talking to the rare one again.

Drove over to write with my friend and waited for the boyfriend to leave sprawled out on the floor, my hands over my eyes as they they cuddled their goodbyes for five minutes. It's cute and I normally tease them for it but resisted the urge. Maybe being a little annoyed is what cause me to close my eyes at first. Maybe I was a little jealous that I couldn't be cuddling with the rare one and being teased for it. In a few weeks I'll get the chance - this thought made me smile.

I still can't wrap my head around that thought.

Mondays have been good in other ways: Last week was a great Katie the Pest show at the Silverlake Lounge that was back to the stripped down drummer + Talia (guitar) set up. A much more effective showing of her material than the somewhat muddled attempt with a bassist and back up singer a few months ago in Long Beach. I'll take it either way but enjoyed this better. I also took one of her vegan cookies that I'd shyed away from at the previous show - my shyness was still apparent when I talked to her and found my old reactions comforting.

With so much going on music wise that night I left to catch The Happy Hollows at the Echo and did so again this week also. Welcomed the sight of large crowds for what I feel is one of the most original bands in LA right now.


Tuesday was spent at another friend's house having punch and vodka under her backyard tree with limbs stretched out in need of a desperate pruning, a nice change from her previous downtown location under the 6th street bridge surrounded by sheet metal and chain linked fences. In between moments of our good talk and drinks, I had a lot of private smiles whenever she left to go fetch something inside. It was a lovely tree spread open like an umbrella that I spent these moments looking up into, tipsy dreaming of the rare one.

In my tipsy dreams she's sliding down rainbows.

The Usual Suspects: The Fuxedos @ Kiss or Kill

A strange little line up tonight at ye olde Kiss or Kill:

Paper Thin Walls 9.45, Igor Spectre 10.30, The Fuxedos 11.15, and Fireball Johnson I think.

I'll be there early for Paper Thin Walls as they interest me the most out of the bunch and staying for the whole night as always. When I said strange earlier I was talking about the fun and odd Igor Spectre and the downright bizarre slash experimental slash performance art-ish band, The Fuxedos. I was surprised by how much I liked them last time - well worth checking out if you like a bit of WTF in your live music.

I like a little WTF in my What What but that's a whole 'nother post.

Speaking of arty stuff, may I suggest heading down to The Music Center for the last night of Slow Dancing , a projected art installation around the fountains by David Michalek.

Projected on 16 foot screens, each subject's movement (approximately 5 seconds) was shot on a specially constructed set with a high-speed, high-definition camera recording at 1,000 frames per second. The result is approximately 10-minutes of extreme slow movement-a motion portrait in which the dancer's unique artistic expression and technique are revealed as never before.

Metroblogging.LA has some pictures and info from Monday night. Looks hella cool. Free. Runs from 6pm to midnight so you can do all this in one night.

I'm a struggling Libra

I never said fuck you as many times before as I did last week.

I never said them so calmly, maybe 'cause it was meant not in an angry way. I wasn't angry, just calling bullshit to the words spoken to me. To say that word bullshit - I don't like that word.

Thing is this word bullshit needs to be called on me sometimes. I haven't been a good friend lately and unable to get past my stubborn refusal to see me falling in a pattern not worth repeating.

Started to wonder this evening why not leaving my apartment since Thursday night is not normal. Part of it is that I'm poor and going out means spending money. Part of it is this habit of being so happy in some aspect of my life that I forget how much my friends mean to me.

Without them I would helpless sometimes.

The sad thing is that I'm known to do this disappearing act or blatant neglect of my relationships in one part of my life, especially when I find happiness in another.

My friends are important to me and they deserve to be treated as such. I don't want to say anymore but just needed to admit that I need to do a better job of this.

things I don't want for my bday # 2

I'd never been in want of a surprise party.

I don't think it's possible to pull this off without my knowledge; I know all the ruses. I know when you are lying. I know that I am smarter than you in all these things.

So don't bother because I will ejoy enjoy* ruining the big surprise by just flaking on that important (allegedly) meeting, showing up an hour early, or paying off the restaurant to lose the reservation.

Don't even try.

(anyhow my best present is coming a week later)
*see comments

things I don't want for my bday # 1

I use to love cows.

People knew this when I screamed in childlike glee over a herd coming into feed one day when at the side of a local ranch.

People knew this when asked why I dress in my cow costume one Halloween at the cinema I worked at and improvise squirting utter (ISU) into the outfit.

We were allowed the three weeks prior to Halloween to dress up and in between the start and the 31st was my birthday. Coworkers being mostly retarded and unoriginal now had the brilliant idea that I really, really wanted cow related presents.

Presents like:
-A salt and pepper cow spotted shaker
-A cow letter holder made of the front and end of a cow with a curled wire belly
-A cow spotted toilet paper holder
-A pastoral scene printed onto kitchen towels
-A gallon of milk

I use to like cows but you people ruined it for me with kitschy crap and I stopped drinking milk when I was six. Thanks for killing my bovine fetish.

So please no cow related gifts this year.
(cow themed postcards sent by a hella cute girl are exempted)

one minute twenty one seconds

ringing.

hello.

I woke you up didn't I?

Ah no. words wrapped in sleep.

I say a few about this and that quickly, then convince her to bed again. It wasn't hard.

Good night, sw...

huh?

Good Night, Sweet Dreams, and Go Back to Sleep!

a chuckle, then nothing.

[perfect]

So there are small moments when I doubt my reality.

Though slightly sick for the last 2 weeks I did manage to pop acetaminophen boosters for a few enjoyable hours out.

Last Saturday was an outdoor loft party with bands and free beer, then off to a friend's Sunday invite to a bbq at a wonderful Frenchman's house in the Valley who pegged me a snob within the first half hour ("Yes I am!" I whole heartily accepted this Pall Mall pointed accusation), and Monday was yet another night in the booths of Canter's Kibitz Room.

I never, never go to Canters and somehow managed to be that place three times in a week. First was to join another's escape to drink away a bad day, second visit was the Bang Sugar Bang show, and then came the surprise party for a dear friend to end the run.

As the party went on inside I wasted the evening on the sidewalk talking to one of the regulars who sang us a soundtrack to life in Los Angeles. His Los Angeles: the number streets, Joni Mitchell coming from the canyon, to his tried and true Bruins and Dodgers. Forty five minutes of nice drunk singing in the warm night air as I listened on. I listened on despite distractions by a Fred Durst wannabe hitting on Blue, a little homeless man on a big red bicycle, and more often by the very mentally unstable lady that refused to leave. She danced and yelled at the blues band, she danced and yelled at me, she danced and yelled as the blues band scored the bartender chasing her out repeatedly until finally she left cursing her departure down the middle of Fairfax, making a turn onto Beverly from the left turn lane and disappeared.

At that point I realized it wasn't going to get any better than that and called it a night.

Before trudging up my stairs to my apartment I noticed there was still mail to be checked from that day. Inside a red envelope sat the turned leaves of Fall between a light letter of thoughtful words.



This was one of those moments.

donuts and shots

Some of you might not know that my brother is a cop up in the Bay Area city of Richmond. Generally regarded as a "bad part of town" that is on par to say Compton down here in SoCal; mostly working class, with a few bad sections with deep gang roots going back decades. The same sections where in the 80s the postal carriers were required to wear bullet proof vests when on route.

As the city expanded up the hill towards I-80 with new subdivisions, shopping centers, etc that came along with the dot boom, the overall vibe has gotten better but shit still happens in the same small parts of town

As reported yesterday on sfgate:

SWAT teams hit the streets to try to quell Richmond violence

Richmond police put SWAT teams on the streets today after two more people were shot, bringing the number of shootings in the city since Tuesday to 11.

And this morning: Shot fired at Richmond patrol car

So I call my brother up to tell him not to get shot at or um, at least not to shoot himself again (To be fair, his gun accidentally went off in the station while changing into his uniform in a bathroom stall, as the old station didn't have a locker room or a real stable shelf to put loaded firearms onto). So anyhoogle, catching him at work (he works traffic and doesn't have to deal with the bad stuff anymore) I can hear the other cops asking each other who heard what
and when and I ask how concerned they were.

His answer: "oh this is just a normal day here; right now we're a little more concern as to which Starbucks we're going to grab some coffee and pastries at."

Apparently Bay Area cops don't do donuts anymore.

just like us

vid link for you rss readers

This was meant to be posted yesterday but ye olde wifi that I'm stealing was crapping out on me. Something retarded to counter all the serious depressing stuff, and legitimate bush hating posts yesterday.

When you get a bunch of drunk navy musicians (in this case my sister's husband & friend) together, you'll sometimes get a little a little diddy made to mock you (in this case a fellow band mate).

I love the using the word retarded; I'm retarded, you're retarded, that's hella retarded. It's wrong, I know this, but why do you laugh when I use it?

I haven't disappeared

I've traveled over bridges, saw fog roll over into glazed swirls over cinnamon hills and walked between old growth redwoods. I felt the warmth in my face as I spoke words about the rare one.

Been traveling along interstates all month, home to Vegas, Vegas to home, a few days rest then up the 5* for a short week in the Bay.

Bridge 1: The Rep John Miller ** Bridge I-680
aka the Benica/Martinez bridge new second span

Friday morning at the Jelly Belly factory: a free 40 minute tour + a hour at the gift shop = leaving 40 dollars lighter. I'm not a big sweets fan but I'm in love with 7-up flavored jelly bellys.

Bridge 2: The Alfred Zampa Memorial Bridge I-80 aka the Carquinez Bridge(s) new suspension span

Jumped off to grab some lunch in El Sobrante and thought about an old friend that grew up here. Wondered if I'll ever talk to her again.

Bridge 3: Richmond-San Rafael Bridge I-580

Pointed out San Quentin to the first timers in the car, the wind surfers along Sir Francis Drake Blvd, the Larkspur ferry terminal, but kept the memories from 16 years ago inside my pockets along with the hands I use to tell stories.

Stories of carpooling to work the opening of Jurassic Park at the old Festival Cinemas across the street from the ferries. That same old friend shared the bed of a covered pickup, arms around each other from the cold of early bay air; from the chill of our three month silent treatment.

Another year I drove my crazy then girlfriend A. to work in Corte Madera and caught the ferry to waste time in The City across the bay. Somehow I forgot it was gay pride and it took me a minute to figure out how the happiest place on earth was now laid out on Market Street. I followed the parade path up to Montgomery and bought a ice cold can of bud light from a shopping cart hustler, enjoying my third or forth gay pride made only better by crossing paths of chums of my high school years of homeless and rich suburban punks, the skaters that used and sold, the straights and in this case, the interwoven gay youths of central Contra Costa County.

And I reflected upon this on the third bridge inside Muir Woods for the hour watching two inch steelhead swim from behind the reflected mirror of water into the visible shade.

Being so close I couldn't help myself but head North to one last bridge: The Golden Gate. On the western edge I parked and took the walkway underneath the bridge, steel plates above clapping my arrival to the pedestrian side so I could simply say hello again to The City by the Bay.




* B, I'm sure K mentioned that LA folks say The 5, not I-5, but in the Bay we never, never say the The. We spit on LA people for that.
** Ranked 6th most powerful democrat in the country, mentioned as possible VP candidate of Gore.

Sept 11: a time to stalk

The Production Company: Avery Pictures
Will be filming: HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU .... [oh great, that book]
Location: 1050 W Sunset Bl .... [Sav-On, if I'm not mistaken]
Dates: 09/11/07 -- Hours: 5:00 A.M. - 1:00 P.M.
Description of scene: Interior dialogue.

Maybe one of your favorite stalking targets female actors will be shooting this scene at the Sav-On down the street from me.
I'm looking at you Corey.

The Usual Suspects - wkend edition

Wow. Last night, another night at canters for Bang Sugar Bang's Thursday night residency that was way too loud and way too much fun. Dave the new guitarist is such the perfect addition to the band, who plays off their inherent silliness. The band itself is not silly, just great.
Free every Thursday @ Canters bsb photo by Brian Honda


With The Happy Hollows set on Monday for their Echo residency, I didn't think this week would be so fun band wise. Being a month or two since I last caught a HH show and somehow they were even better than I remembered. F'ing amazing actually. Free every Monday @ the Echo.
HH photo by Corey

Friday night picks:
She's Your Sister @ El Cid, $7
oh and it's Jenn's (the bassist) birthday. Happy bday Jenn.

Let's Go Sailing @ Roxy opening for Mother Hips and The Broken West

Saturday:
Amphiyard Party at Beverly Lofts
$3 , free beer/wine - $2 tacos -
$1 margaritas/shots - 6 bands:
The Karabal Nightlife (10pm), Rocking Horse People, The Monthlies, Ragsy, Dagger Van Gogh, and Wake Up Incinerate
1670 Beverly Blvd., Echo Park, CA 90028 (Isn't this HiFi?)
The last event was great - expect the same.

Underwater City People @ Old Towne Pub, Pasadena $5
with Mozart's Sister (AZ), The Letter Openers

Chissum Worthington hosts the Schooled In Song Benefit after party @ DiPiazza. Click on an image to watch the promos
promo1 promo2


Loverlee @ Knitting Factory $7 (Jason's annual bday show)
w/Terami Hirsch, Nerdvana, The Bentleys, and Brutus Gets The Girl.

Sunday:
Eagle Rock Sunday Night Bowling and Drinking Club - $5/21+
9:00 Aime, 9:45 Letting Up Despite Great Faults (month resident)
10:30 Sailboat, 11:15 Karin Tatoyan

my boring vegas trip recap

There are no tic tac toe-ing chickens in Vegas anymore

The Tropicana used to have the last cheesy Vegas game around where one could challenge a chicken to a game of tic tac toe for free once you surrendered your info in exchange for player's club card.

It's a computer aided chicken you're playing against and only one person actually beat the chicken in Vegas (five in Atlantic City, but you could get first choice which greatly increased your odds) so it's a waste of time more than anything.

Well no chicken game meant no money gambled at their casino for neither myself or the relatives I dragged hung over at 9 in the morning; in 100+ heat. No grand poultry conquest to brag about to home. The only thing that impressed was my knowledge of how to navigate around the side streets of the strip and where to find a nearest bathroom in any casino.

tidbits:
THEhotel at Mandalay Bay where my brother stayed was way nicer than the Excalibur castlefuck.
Cheetah WiFi is cheaper than the in-room broadband service
If staying at the el cheapo, but great location Excalibur, Do Not Be A Cheap Ass and book the old regular rooms. Upgrade to the newly remodeled "widescreen rooms" that are only 20 bucks more. The olds ones are crack head gross.

Speaking of which I think I'm going to break out my encounters with crack heads in individual posts. Those I found fascinating.

And finally wtf is up with that Fall of Atlantis show at Caesars Palace?
I like cheese but this was just plain old bad

Sorry. I had a fun, but uneventful (mostly sober) trip carting my mom around. I did drunk text someone special though.

The Usual Suspects: Wed 9.5.07

Kiss or Kill presents @ El Cid

New Maximum Donkey's is guaranteed to provide always funny, rocking sets. This is a band that will make you bounce, smile, and laugh (mostly to their in between song banter).

Get Set Go is a little mellower compared to the three piece version many years ago but nothing has diminished Mike TV's lyrical bittersweet rants and musings about life that have always been the core of his music. There is a reason why Grey's Anatomy has used many GSG songs over the last couple seasons and why I love listening to them.

9:45 Brainspoon, 10:30 pm Get Set Go, 11:15 New Maximum Donkey
12:00 Bike Lock (featuring members from Jack's Mannequin)

Also:

The Monolators , the Ghost Kings (a side project of The Parson Red Heads, sort of, kind of, and then some), Kissing Cousins, Unbusted @ Silverlake Lounge, $5

Pink Mochi @ Bordello

Box Violet (club moscow) @ Boardner’s
Not sure why this band has been laying low lately