There will be torn green fabric

echo park, july 3rd, 2008

Walking out the door of Kohls I started cursing to myself over the money I just spent. Really it was only 3 items but at 75 bucks I thought it much for 2 pairs of pants and a new green polo to replace the one I still have.

me_tadaYou see, I despise the original, old green polo.

It's not worn outside all too often and only when dirty laundry awaits a trip to the laundromat. You (or it this case my GF last week) wouldn't notice how this passable article to the untrained eye rots my soul away with it's faded, pit stained and deodorant burned innards each time I place my arms through the side holes, my bowling bowl head breached easily top side as if the strecthed collar was laced with butter .

It looked good, well for the first year. By year 2 this shirt became the helpful crutch as I emerged from seclusion (divorced and very, very poor) into new social worlds. Like a middle school humpty dumpty, I was that guy who was learning to put myself all together again and not very well with limited clothing choices.

I pretended no one noticed.

The polo was worn too many times, week after week as my only go-to shirt, the only safe shirt for nearlt any occasion. Acquired on an effective after xmas shopping trip when my budget was tighter; a budget that had me scrapping by on spaghetti and ramen and sloppy joe sandwiches were a lavished treat once a week. Year 2 and 3 weren't any different.

By year 4 I came to resent the my recent too poor to buy clothes past standing beneath the fabric, resent my inability to stomp it out with the armies of my boot and throw it away even as my financial situation improved in year 5 and new shirts pushed it deeper into my closet. And so it stayed there until pride was swallowed and the need too apparent. Always the last item placed in the wash, a silent prayer to find torn remains after a run through an industrial washer forcing my hand toward the garbage continued unanswered.

There was no god, I thought each time. There was no god....
until I saw green polo shirt v2.0 at Kohls last week!

OG green polo shirt - I cast you off for good!!!! *

*Actually this isn't true. I plan on moving furniture and driving long distances later this month so it will be ideal for those adventures. After that I look forward to destroying the fuck out of it. Also, this post is hella lame.


  1. Anonymous7:07 AM

    We'll have a ceremonial shirt shredding at our new apartment :)


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