Lorange Blog

These things will now be verboten after this post: 1) DG 2) One way crushes This is the reality of the situation: Impossible – no Improbable – yes I've been pretty obvious when I come out bouncing through the doorway, with eye contact generating smiles to her. I can’t hide it and she responds in a naturally friendly manner. I never did expected additional interest coming my way and that's just how it will remain telling her or not. It’s all fine and dandy to write and feel and want and lust, but when it gets the best of me, overwhelms me, then I can't handle it. Back off, retreat, overload, circuits blown and I walk away from our conversation. Part shyness, part frustration of not acting like myself and speaking my thoughts. Can I tell you something? Please don't take this the wrong way. (Like this somehow excuses the uncomfortable moment I’m going to drop on you.) Maybe you know this already, I think you might. I think you’re cool and neat and beautiful and I have th...

Dear Reality, I’m sorry to have left you in such a hurry on Tuesday but I had to take a trip away which included songs on repeat, writing numerous drafts that will never be posted, cheesy poems, and bouts of Jack in Box binge eating. I’m back on terra firma now and I realize I need to be more honest with you and myself, laying out the facts, pulling off the covers of vagueness and dealing with my feelings. As Popeye once said, "I yam what I yam," and I’m a hopeless sap looking for a Dream Girl that doesn’t exist. Three days in crush-ville has left me feeling incredibly stupid to have even entertained these thoughts. You’ve seen her. Do you blame me for having this one way crush? It’s not any one detail, but how it all comes together that makes her so beautiful to me. I even think her name is beautiful. Recently, I've started to let myself look forward to the passing friendly smile or two I wanted and thought nothing of it when she returned mine except “Wow, so gorgeous an...

Back in the early 90s, I had this major crush on a fellow co-worker. I was 20 and she was about 23 having moved to the Bay Area recently from Boston. So we flirted for weeks and slowly became friends while working shifts together. Then one day I had this strange dream where the both of us were being mugged while hanging out in Berkeley. So vivid, but knowing it was dream I wondered if I had a rough vision of something bad happening to her that same night. I couldn't shake the feeling and decided to drive down to work to see if she was okay. My concern for her flattered her enough to make out with me for hours at the next co-worker party. Afterwards we made tentative plans for another night and life was swell. Two days later she stopped talking to me and quit. Quit! This started my famous "I'm Fucked Week", short for I just got fucked over. I had no idea what was going through her head and wasn't getting any reasons from her or our mutual friends as to why she wa...