Lorange Blog

The Reaping is big heaping waste of time. This movie doesn't know if it wants to Carrie or The Omen and while I'm down with predictable endings at least they could've made it interesting. Throw in some retarded special effects and save for the locusts plague, the others come off as more comical than foreboding enough to cause a chill down your spine. Badly CG animated cows dying never looked funnier. So the movie focuses on the little girl (don't they all do these days?) as the cause of biblical plagues centrally located in small, backwater, overtly religious town as master miracle debunker/onetime ordained priest Hillary Swank drives in to find the scientific reason. Did I mention she lost her faith? Did I mention that there ar evil up in dem swamps? The wonderful actor Stephen Rhea plays a priest friend who hardly used and easily could be replaced with a scene of the researchers googling information while Hillary Swank's partner is there to drive the truck or s...

I went to see a screening of Nacho Libre by myself and possibly snubbed a cute girl I know (socially) in the lobby. I need glasses to avoid this again. I've seen her up close and she's cute and has big blue eyes. I know these things. I did the research (this phrase still rocks). If you like Jack Black as in you like his eyebrows moving up and down, and love when he looks into the camera and sings (ala the D), and dig the fake hand trumpets, and a cute, straight-forward story line with wrestling scenes that don't overdo the silliness, then you will agree with my five lorange rating. This also applies to the nun in real life. If you hate Jack Black (some do) you will agree that this Nickelodeon produced movie is enjoyable for the whole family and deserves 3.5 loranges at least. "Accidentally" getting drunk afterwards with Ashley and the Honey Pot gets 6 loranges.

Okay this is not the free all you can eat wings at Hooters talking, but I saw a screening last night of Grandma's Boy and it was actually funny if you have low expectations for a pot head movie. It's no Harold and Kumar go to White Castle (Hello, riding the Jaguar and coke snorting Doogie?), but silly fun with a couple decent of moments of absurdity after a weak beginning and a medium strength ending. Basically a simple plot of a 36 yr old game tester taking up his grandma offer for a room to stay in after getting evicted. He smokes a lot of pot. He gets the girl. Grandma gets baked. There's Grandma sex and everything will be alright in the end thanks to pot. Should mention the little sub plot about a Neo from Matrix wannabe, real genius, game designer who slips into robot mode as a self defense mechanism which is amusing and I loved the High-deas (termed coined by Lindsayism.com ) of the pot dealer in his quest for home security. Walking out I heard a couple people say ...

I love seeing movies on the cheap at the local dollar cinema. These reviews are given without regard for insightfulness and with the assumption that you already seen these films. So deal. Herbie: Fully Loaded There is enough here not to bore you and seeing that little old VW bug does bring back some great memories. Once you’re past the sentimentality, this is basically a simple movie, slightly better than staring at a blank screen. The focus remains on Lindsay and Herbie but the relationship isn’t built up enough with the unchallenging script which shorts the actors in this movie, especially wasting the talents of Michael Keaton and Matt Dillon. Basic plot: Girl finds Herbie, Dad won’t let girl race, Everyone hates Matt Dillion, Herbie starts smack, Justin Long tries to get into Lindsay pants, Girls disrespects Herbie, Girl saves Herbie from demolition derby, Herbie and girl race and save the day. Matt Dillon goes coo coo for coco puffs and set ups potential...

I love going to the dollar cinema, so instead of torturing you folks with another I have crush and a pic of DG is still my background image, blah blah blahness , I'm going to give you my take on the last two movies I saw on the cheap. Reviews given without regard for insightfulness and with the assumption that you already seen these films. Madagascar The lemurs were great especially King Julian as played by Sacha Baron Cohen (Da Ali G Show - he is Ali G) . Every one talked about the penguins, but they are so not funny. Guess the kids and retards like them. Dreamworks animated films will never be on the same level or quality of an average Pixar film. They play more for the lowest common demoniator of the viewing public, releasing quanity over quality. This doesn't hurt Madagascar because the movie hits enough jokes, sight gags, and movie references to keep feeling fresh. It's more topical than groundbreaking, keeping with old WB cartoons compare to Pixar's goal for timel...

Talk about truth in advertising. They walk in a line, they fall down sometimes. Throw my ass on a 70 mile walk across Antarctica and I'd be falling down too. Include 30 minutes of me bitching about my hair getting messed up by the wind and the penguins would be pushing my face into the ice and tossing me to the seals. It could've been better What disappointed me is that I've seen it all before on PBS for free. I knew they huddled in a circle for warmth, and the father held the eggs and babies in their belly flap while the females feed in the ocean. "Ah, how cute," go the women in the theatre seats around me. Oh how cute when shit happens and then who's fault is it when the eggs drop? The males of course. Pile enough men together and you will quickly see a whole bunch fathers dropping their kids on the floor too. Once I was throwing Kaitlyn into the air at the grandparent's house. I was sitting on the floor in the beginning so the first few times it was onl...