Dear Reality,

I’m sorry to have left you in such a hurry on Tuesday but I had to take a trip away which included songs on repeat, writing numerous drafts that will never be posted, cheesy poems, and bouts of Jack in Box binge eating.

I’m back on terra firma now and I realize I need to be more honest with you and myself, laying out the facts, pulling off the covers of vagueness and dealing with my feelings. As Popeye once said, "I yam what I yam," and I’m a hopeless sap looking for a Dream Girl that doesn’t exist.

Three days in crush-ville has left me feeling incredibly stupid to have even entertained these thoughts. You’ve seen her. Do you blame me for having this one way crush? It’s not any one detail, but how it all comes together that makes her so beautiful to me. I even think her name is beautiful.

Recently, I've started to let myself look forward to the passing friendly smile or two I wanted and thought nothing of it when she returned mine except “Wow, so gorgeous and soo out of my league".

Last month I saw a picture of her online that I hadn’t seen before, and I swooned. I hadn't experienced that wide eye open awe in a long time but feeling it made me feel alive again.

So Reality, you could imagine how giddy as fuck I was when I had a couple interactions with her a week ago. I felt like the high school kid who was just acknowledged by the head cheerleader.

The crush was on and for three days I imagined it possible.

She did nothing to cause this of course, and I wasn't reading more into the situation than was there. I just had to leave you Reality, for those three days I woke up inspired and if I had put my coffee cup down on the tiled counter, slid the patio door open, I would’ve floated away like an escaped Mylar balloon.

Three days until I slapped myself out of it over the weekend, but by Tuesday I felt the blunt of stupidity that had started to build. I've been worn out and exhausted for the last two weeks and I then put myself on this roller coaster of swooning over her, until it crashed and it felt like the cars came off the track that day.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Wednesday morning felt like I finally got most of it out of my system after the rough drive home and a few hours of sleep. I'm surprised of how big of a crush (can it be even called that?) I had on someone I still don't know and a little bummed knowing that this is one girl I will never kiss.

Thankfully she will never know any of this happened.

* My awesome friend summed it up best for me


  1. Anonymous10:46 PM

    Only you would quote Popeye. Damn that's bad. That ain't gonna get you any points around here or with any DG's. never again , please , never again.

  2. After I wrote that I realized that came from Popeye. Felt he should be acknowledged as the og source and put in his style of speech. Popeye was a big dumb sap too.


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