March of the Penguins

Talk about truth in advertising.

They walk in a line, they fall down sometimes. Throw my ass on a 70 mile walk across Antarctica and I'd be falling down too. Include 30 minutes of me bitching about my hair getting messed up by the wind and the penguins would be pushing my face into the ice and tossing me to the seals.

It could've been better

What disappointed me is that I've seen it all before on PBS for free. I knew they huddled in a circle for warmth, and the father held the eggs and babies in their belly flap while the females feed in the ocean. "Ah, how cute," go the women in the theatre seats around me.

Oh how cute when shit happens and then who's fault is it when the eggs drop?

The males of course.

Pile enough men together and you will quickly see a whole bunch fathers dropping their kids on the floor too. Once I was throwing Kaitlyn into the air at the grandparent's house. I was sitting on the floor in the beginning so the first few times it was only a couple feet off the ground. Then I stood and threw her up and barely missed the rotating ceiling fan by inches. Nothing worse than the in-law death stare when I state, "Let's see if we can hit it this time."

I'm sure the penguins will be more careful the next mating season as my ex-wife will be on her next marriage.

Maybe James Earl Jones is a penguin hater.

The great actor Morgan Freeman, I'm sure taking a break from the next Ashley Judd movie, does a decent voice over with his smooth, reassuring glass of red wine at 11pm tone. Unfortunately, my first thought when he started was of the speech he gave as the President in the end of the movie Deep Impact . We survived, we will rebuild, we will continue or something like that. Maybe that's why he got the part. That and Verizon pays James Earl Jones too much to do lame ass penguin movies and JEJ already has Africa tied up.

Don't get me wrong, I liked the movie, but found this more entertaining.



  1. Anonymous8:41 PM

    I just can't keep up with all the comments you have been getting. The guy that played the penguin on batman is dead, way to go - remind me of sad , sad stuff. You bastard.


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