a short recap

I had prepared answers and no asked questions the other night when shyness and doubt brought my streak to an end. Frustration that some parts of me might never shed.

moving on...

I've been well and incredibly thankful for family and friends this month. It could so much worse and it is for so many in this city. Piling clothes unwanted to donate to make room for new slacks and shirts in my closet. I'm lucky I can do this.

So when they killed my product line and in turn my job (mfr: besides Sam they laid off Dr. A.. who you didn't know and Antonio -maybe more) due to the company slowdown (so many reasons I'm not going into) I lost my only connection to the internet. I was kind of proud of being offline on my downtime but when the whole day is your downtime one starts to go a little loopy after say day four.

what to do, what to do?

not cook for three days
spend a day at the natural history museum

stand in line at 7-11 kwik e mart

(random kids for size comparison)

say one line in ghetto quality short film

realize how unhappy I was before layoff
realize that I haven't felt more confident in years
decided that a road trip to the Bay area was in order

(grapes in my mom's back yard-mtz has one of the oldest wineries still in operation)

sleep deprived + bottle wine + good pizza = Minor anxiety attack (sorry m.)
rode BART for the first time in 15 years
Chinatown + vegan Chinese food + free strawberry martinis in SF
Indian casino nickel slots with mom (best part of the trip)
Maggie Mudd soy milk blueberry ice cream (!!)
kick ass hand me down laptop to borrow
an amazing group of close friends and family to lean on, talk to, drink with.

like I said I'm incredibly thankful and lucky.

freaking out over lack of job countdown begins right about


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