Tomorrow is Valentine's Day

Why does Valentine's Day have to be a big deal?

Now I'm not saying that you shouldn't share your love, serious like, lust with that special someone in your life. As a total sap how could I deny that momentary joy from others? I love that crap as much as the next girl guy but does it really have to be mucked up with material objects?

Roses - Why not an exotic plant in a container you picked out? If you think they absolutely have to be roses, well you suck and you're boring.

Dinner - Making dinner is the ideal over a (hopefully reserved) table at the nicest joint in town, but how about doing a bonfire picnic at the beach? Bring a blanket - you might get lucky this year.

Candy - I don't have a sweet tooth but some of you freaks do. Instead of chocolates, may I suggest hitting up some pastries from a cool bakery before buying that heart shape box at Target.

Actually tell your woman that you bought pastries because candy is so over done in this country and then hit the After V Day candy blowout at Wal-Mart. Nothing says I love you more than clearance.

Listen - Shut the f... up and ask her how her day was. You don't really have to care but it helps in the believability department. Then again if you're resisting the urge to raise your arms up so your hands can yap at each other, you might do her the favor and exiting that relationship as soon as possible.

Jewelery - I once gave a girl a handmade ring made of paper with little illustrations I created and an another girl a bone fide diamond ring.

Guess which one still talks to me by choice?
Guess who is still a tad bitter that he spent so much time trying to meet someone's materialistic needs?

Annnnyhow, use these suggestions tomorrow or don't. As for me I'll be home eating pizza, drinking Newcastles and watching Shop Girl again. You can join me but there better be a damn can of Parmesan in your pocket - because I um, forgot to pick some up at the store yesterday.


  1. Anonymous1:27 PM

    Heart-shaped pizza = true love forever and ever.

    Wanna get a kick? Go to Google Image Search and type in my full JP name with quotes.

    Charming post. :)

  2. Robert dean...please follow the link to Sonia's blog.

    This "Anonymous" guy is pretty hilarious.


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