I'm a struggling Libra

I never said fuck you as many times before as I did last week.

I never said them so calmly, maybe 'cause it was meant not in an angry way. I wasn't angry, just calling bullshit to the words spoken to me. To say that word bullshit - I don't like that word.

Thing is this word bullshit needs to be called on me sometimes. I haven't been a good friend lately and unable to get past my stubborn refusal to see me falling in a pattern not worth repeating.

Started to wonder this evening why not leaving my apartment since Thursday night is not normal. Part of it is that I'm poor and going out means spending money. Part of it is this habit of being so happy in some aspect of my life that I forget how much my friends mean to me.

Without them I would helpless sometimes.

The sad thing is that I'm known to do this disappearing act or blatant neglect of my relationships in one part of my life, especially when I find happiness in another.

My friends are important to me and they deserve to be treated as such. I don't want to say anymore but just needed to admit that I need to do a better job of this.

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