a blabbering dork

I've been told I'm a lot of things, called a lot of names to my face and many more from afar, but most of you don't know me. A friend said that I spoke in parables and that I'm trying to say something so specific in the most general terms.

An inability to tell a story might be more accurate.

Recently a somewhat stranger leaned over to me and told me she and others felt that I often came off as a jerk - maybe I should stop and take a look at that and the reasons behind it.

When you lived numb for long enough you forget how to care for others that matter let alone somewhat strangers that are making an effort. "Well I can be a jerk," I said, "but you have to understand that meeting people in bars or parties is not why I go out to them." Then I leaned close to her drunken blushed face mostly to speak over the band but just a little too close where we heard our voices and read with our eyes. "Thank you for calling me out on it. It's something my friends do and I love people who can be direct like this."

One on One I can handle because I'm only half of what you think of me and a little more.


Did I mention how happy I've been this week?

home cooked meals by mom all weekend - check

catching up with M - check

finding out that M's longtime bf Matt might hook me up with this aptly named guitar pedal that he developed - check

Monday drive down from the Bay Area through clear skies and tumble weed lined highways

oh yeah, in my new car - check!