Lessons learned last year

I've been chatting to my Old Friend about our respective New Years and her birthday (saw Greg Proops and Patton Oswald @ Cobbs) yesterday. I've known her for 18 years and totally forgot that she was only three months younger than me.

So this tidbit started heading into an explanation of how she was responsible for the robert dean nickname, which almost brought out my urge to talk about the high school near obsession I had with her and how it affected me*, but thought best not to.

I've learned that girls don’t like to hear about things that rhyme with pobession or Iran-Contra-gate.

They also don’t like to hear that they were only third best in the bed department by the way. This was a different girl’s question I’d mistakenly answered with bruising honesty. Okay I know that was the dumbest thing I could’ve done but get this, I continued with "multi-orgasmic" and "bendy" as to why to she lost out.

A true and hopefully funny to her now story (she does read this). Anyhow she proved me wrong and I stand corrected; She is officially number one, though I feel I won out in the end.

I’m a winner! Yay!

So back to this New Year's resolution post.
That’s what this post is actually about so here they are:

  • Go to more Comedy shows
    (Cort/Corey remember the Comedy Underground?)
  • Pay more attention to others - less about me
    (constant struggle sadly)
  • Ask somebody out
    (I have all year - could happen, and yes her)
  • Be less shy
  • Kill Make love to a Canadian (friggin' no good Canucks)
  • Learn not to faint at the sight of blood (see above)
  • Finish the three posts from last month
  • Finish my miniature model of the USS São Paulo [NCC-75633]
    (No, not the NCC-74205)
  • Go indoor rock climbing
  • Go to a batting cage for the first time
  • Go to a strip club for the first time ( I know! )
  • Make out with a girl (No, not for the first time)
  • Most importantly, learn when to lie.
*I wasn’t a stalker or anything like that and we always remained friends so chill with the restraining order thoughts okay? I was shy and awkward and kept apologizing for everythinga nd it's a long boring story.


  1. I should mention that they asked me this at a time in my life where I just didn't give a fuck about others in general and it seemed that they could handle the way the conversation was going that day. Assuming this was my first mistake.

    I tell people I'm the worst ever so expectations are low. I assume my partner has seen bigger and better in their lifetimes so I just try to do my best. Anyhow it's not just about the act itself.

    As for relationships, I've been lucky that most of my good relationships the sex was great. The worst was with my uber psycho ex. It was dead and dysfunctional.

  2. That would be uber psycho ex Amy, not The Ex.


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