I'm feeling low fi today
(click on picture)
Katie the Pest - this giant will kill you
pointless weekend post here
Sunday morning I ended my three day social adventure at six am; a trip bookmarked with a nervous drinking with faux fur lounging, and an all night party at a made up warehouse underneath a bridge.
Sometimes I write this to say hey I was up all night, hey I was being all scenster as fuck at KorK, hey I’ve been in a mood and was called out on it. Sometimes I just want to forget the words mixed with gin soaked breath spoken to a stranger and remember that honest smile from idealistic lips I’ll never kiss.
It has been said that I put up walls, that I shun help.
"Wait, you don’t understand." I had to tell her to shut up for minute but I needed to make this clear.
"I know I’m all sorts of fucked up."
We kept talking only inches apart and I reached out to gently pull her eyelid up with my thumb as she continued with her sentence, "...and I understand what you are doing. I do the same thing. We are very much alike in that way. Um, what are you doing with my eye?"
"Oh, you have really blue eyes and I just wanted to see it better."
"Yeah, I know..." and she continued with the verbal scrubbing of my perceived attitude. My grimed up can opener attitude that I’ve neglected cleaning between meals, layered grim between rotor and blade.
Oh the beauty of drunken conversations is that they end with the distraction of a lip ring girl asking for a light and before I needed to hide the can of thoughts just opened.
Denial: The other white meat
These nights of drinking, lack of sleeping are not getting me anywhere. Since I already have a good grip on denial, why not swing out and reach for pure escapism right? So I’ll leave assorted problems, unopened bills, mailbox filled with AOL cds and coupons for Chinese auto repair shops for family fun time in two days.
I’m going to miss my cat too.