I roll over slipping my hands over the soft, warm, tingly hairs spread across dunes created from her hips up to her chest.

Our first time snuggling underneath the covers so it's a little weird and a little giggly. Just weeks ago we noticed each other; I taking note of her dark hair hanging over eyebrows that swore like a sailor. A hot girl sailor.

I closed my eyes as she wiggled closer into me, finding that fit that didn't exist before. This is nice. This is better than nice I think but something is wrong. Eyes pop open to the stark morning light sensing something not quite level. Something really, really wrong...


"Oh this can't be good" was the first thing I spoke.
Fuck, it's 8 am. I'm supposed to be a work at 8am and it's raining.
Double Fuck!

I'm at Arco getting gas and two pumps on the same side are open. I'm facing the opposite way so I pull up in reverse but this guy is slowly coming in the other direction SLOWLY and sees me backing up to basically MY pump and he's pulling up to the HIS pump but doesn’t stop. No, he SLOWLY pulls up to MY pump passing HIS fucking pump. WTF! W T F?

Argh I hate you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm forced to pull around the pumps to HIS pump which is now MY PUMP and stupido is totally clueless, gets out and walks inside to pay. I'm glaring at him; the guy on the opposite gives me a wtf with that guy look, because he saw everything. I shake my head in disbelief. Seriously wtf.

THEN I'm almost at work after driving for 1.5 hours in the rain with stupid people and I see the delivery truck park ahead on the two lane street I'm driving up. Two guys jump out and open the big metal side door on the street side, the opposite side of the street of me. I'm still driving up and stupid delivery guy number one swivels his body away from my direction and take two steps landing in my lane THEN he sees me oh let’s say about twenty feet from running him over with this thing call a mid size sedan that will easily squash you into blueberry pancakes shapes, but it would be blood and guts berry really and I would be even more late to work because of the paperwork.

And that's not hot.


  1. yikes that's no way to start a day

  2. You ever watch "My Name Is Earl"? It's KARMA Bobby D, Karma for drooling on my couch. Don't fuck with DeSofa!

  3. This post was hot. yay on the blueberrypancakes analogy


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